I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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