You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
