sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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