Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
