it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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