I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
