Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
