Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
