.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
