Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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