If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
wow bdsm is so cute
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