I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
