Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
