U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
