That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
