Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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