yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
