The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
