every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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