Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
