"it" just moved
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
