We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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