If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
