A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
