Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
