Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Alive.
So much puke
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
