I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
