but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
