I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
