Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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