why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
