Umm I'm too high to move.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
