just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
