I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
