How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
