ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
