Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
another moral hangover. fuck.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
