i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
