My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
