You work out of a Hotel?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
