I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
