Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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