I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You just made me feel so damn special
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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