People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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