i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
