do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
