I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
