I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
