Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
