So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
